更新时间:2010-03-27

作天作地小作精 • 真爱至上:老混蛋，四星是给你的。

老混蛋，四星是给你的。
别转头，别东张西望，没错，老混蛋，就是你，四星是给你的。
一把年纪了在小破公寓里和世界上最丑的经纪人赌博输得一塌糊涂自以为是不知悔改死不认错尖酸刻薄脾气古怪的老混蛋。
一把年纪了带着一群性感的烈焰红唇的小妞唱《圣诞无处不在》教坏小孩子的老混蛋。
一把年纪了流里流气的开不正经的玩笑老混蛋。
可是，可是，那又怎么样？让我如何在冷飕飕的冬夜抵挡两只老混蛋笨拙而温暖的拥抱？
以下是一些我很喜欢的对话。很有笑点。让人又哭又笑。

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首先就是关于两只老混蛋的那个拥抱。
Joe：What the hell are you doing here?You`re supposed to be at Elton John`s.
你到这儿来到底要做什么？你应该在Elton John家里才对。
Bill：Well,I was there for a minute or two and then I had an epiphany.
嗯，我在那儿呆了大约一两分钟，然后我有所顿悟。
Joe：Relly?
真的？
Bill：Yeah.
是的。
Joe：Come on.Just come up.So what was this epiphany?
来吧，先上来。那么，是什么样的顿悟呢？
Bill：Erm,it...it was about Chrismas.
嗯，它…它是关于圣诞节的。
Joe：You realised it was all around.
你意识到了到处都弥漫着。
Bill：No.I realised that Christmas is the time to be with the people you love.
不。我意识到了圣诞节时跟你爱的人在一起的时候。
Joe：Right.
对的。
Bill：And I realised that,as dire chance and fateful cock up would have it,here I am,mid-fifties,and without knowing it,I`ve spent most my adult life with a chubby employee.And,much as it grieves me to say it,it might be that the people I love is,in fact...you.
我还意识到因为可怕的机会和命运的一堆乱七八糟的事情，我是现在这样子，50几岁，在没意识到的情况下我渡过我的成年…和一个胖胖的雇员（被他誉为世上最丑的经纪人Joe）。而且，这样说虽然会让我很伤心，但事实上，我爱的那个人可能是…你。
Joe：Well,this is a surprise.
嗯，这真是意外。
Bill：Yeah.
是的。
Joe：Ten minutes at Elton John`s and you`re gay?
在Elton John家里待了10分钟你就成同性恋了？
Bill：No,look.I`m serious here.I left Elton John`s and a hefty number of half-naked chicks with their mouths open in order to hang out with you at Christmas.
不，看。我是认真的。我离开Elton John家，那边有一大群半身赤裸的少女张着她们的嘴只为了能和你在圣诞节混混。
Joe：Well,Bill...
嗯，Bill…
Bill：It`s a terrible,terrible mistake,chubs...but you turn to be the fucking love of my life.And to be honest,despite all my complaining...we have had wonderful life.
这是个很糟糕，很糟糕的错误，朋友…但你最终还是我生命中我所爱的人。坦白说，不管我那全部的抱怨…我们在一起生活相当愉快。
Joe：Well,thank you.I mean,come on,it`s been an honour.I feel very proud.
嗯，谢谢你。我的意思是，好吧，这是个荣幸。我感到非常骄傲。（伸手想要和Bill握手）
Bill：Oh,look,don`t be a moron.
哦，喂，别像个傻瓜一样。
（一只老混蛋和一只胖胖的经纪人别扭笨拙的拥抱）
Bill：Come on,let`s get pissed and watch porn.
来吧，让我们喝个大醉然后看A片。

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然后是老板Harry和雇员Sarah的对话。我要是有这么个老板就好了。
Sarah：Harry?
Harry：Sarah,switch off your phone and tell me exactly how long it is that you`re been working here.
Sarah，先把你的手机关了，然后准确的告诉我，你在这里工作有多久了。
Sarah：Two years,seven months,three days and,I suppose,what,two hours?
两年，七个月，三天，和2个小时左右？
Harry：And how long have you been in love with Karl,our enigmatic chief designer?
那你爱上我们那谜一般的首席设计师Karl有多久了？
Sarah：Um,Two years,seven months,three days and,I suppose,an hour and 30 minutes.
啊…两年，七个月，三天，和我想，一个半小时吧。
Harry：Thought as much.
我猜就是。
Sarah：Do you think everybody knows?
大家都知道了吗？
Harry：Yes。
是的。
Sarah：Do you think Karl knows?
Karl知道吗？
Harry：Yes。
是的。
Sarah：Oh,that is...that is bad news.
哦，那，那还真是个…坏消息。
Harry：I just thought that maybe the time had come to do something about it.
我觉得你现在应该有所行动了。
Sarah：Like what?
譬如呢？
Harry：Invite him out for a drink then casually mention you`d like to marry him and have lots of sex and babies.
约他去喝杯东西，然后用轻松的语气告诉他，你想和他做爱结婚生孩子。
Sarah：You know that?
你连这都知道？
Harry：Yes.And so does Karl.Think about it,for all our sakes.It`s Christmas.
没错。Karl也知道。为了大家好，好好考虑一下。圣诞可快到了。
Sarah：Certainly.Excellent.Will do.Thanks,boss.
当然。没问题。包在我身上。谢谢老板。

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再接着是老爹与可爱正太儿子Sam的对话。
So, what`s the problem,Samuel?It is just Mum or is it something Father：else,huh?Maybe school?Are you being bullieb?Or is it something worse?Can you give me any clues at all?
Sam，你有什么烦恼吗？只是妈妈的事还是有别的事？也许是学校的事？学校里有人欺负你吗？还是什么更严重的事？可以给我一点线索吗？
Sam：You really want to know?
你真的想知道？
Father：I really want to know.
我真的想知道。
Sam：Even though you won`t be able to help?
就算你一点忙也帮不上？
Father：Even if that`s the case,yeah.
就算是这样，是的。
Sam：OK.Well...truth is,actually...I`m in love.
好吧。真相是，其实…我恋爱了。
Father：Sorry?
什么？
Sam：I know I should be thinking about Mum and I am but I`m in love.I was before she died and there`s nothing I can do about it.
我知道现在应该为妈妈的事难过，我的确很难过，但是我恋爱了。她过世前我就恋爱了，我没有任何办法。
Father：Aren`t you a bit young to be in love?
你现在谈恋爱会不会太早了点？
Sam：No.
不会。
Father：Ah,well.OK,well...I`m a little relieved.
啊，那好吧…我松了口气。
Sam：Why?
为什么？
Father：Because I...thought it`d be something worse.
因为，我以为是更严重的事。（可怜这个当爹的一直担心儿子往自己眼球里注射海洛因。= =！）
Sam：Worse than the total agony of being in love?
有比恋爱的痛苦更加严重的事？
Father：Er...No,you`re right.Total agony.
啊…没有，你说得对。恋爱的痛苦。

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再接着是可爱帅气的首相与漂亮胖呼呼的助理Natalie之间的对话。
Natalie：He said I was getting fat.
他说我太肥了。
Prime Minister：I beg your pardon?
对不起？
Natalie：He said on one`d fancy a girl with thighs the size of tree trunks.
他说没人会喜欢大腿像树干一样粗的女孩。（说这话的男人应该拖出去斩了！）
Natalie：Not a nice guy,actually,in the end.
他终究并不是一个好男人。
Prime Minister：No.You know,erm...being Prime Minister,I could just have him murdered.
的确。你知道，呃…作为首相，我可以置他于死地。
Natalie：Thank you,sir.I`ll think about it.
谢谢您，阁下。我会考虑的。
Prime Minister：Do.The SAS are absolutely charming.Ruthless,trained killers are just a phone call away.
考虑吧。皇家空降部队相当有魅力。冷血专业杀手只要一通电话就到。

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再来就是一些零散的句子。都是我很喜欢的。
Love actually is all around.
真爱其实无所不在。
When I was young and successful,I was greedy and foolish,and now I`m left with no one,wrinkled and alone.
当我年轻并成功的时候，我却贪婪无知，不知珍惜，现在我一无所有了，只剩下满脸皱纹和孤单一人。
Enough.Enough now.
足够了。这样就足够了。
Yes is being my answer.Easy question.
我的答案是，好的。很容易的问题。